from misha 2

Friday 6 March

Some nights I go underground. I go deep into the London night and make friends with people I will never see again.

I dance until the light of morning
I dance for all bodies
I am no longer myself, I have transformed into a vibrating expression for all my ancestors and for all their pain, and for all my own dreams of the future, carried together…

I have been purifying all the toxins out of my body for 2 weeks
Sweating out the past – because I believe that emotion and psychic materials can be sweated out. Drive them out with ginger and lemon and garlic and water and prune juice and grapefruit. Transform. Pray.

My ears are still blocked, my throat is still sore
But around me my body is changing


Wednesday 11 March

This it the full moon
She is grand and strong and pulls me from sleep

This morning I will burn Marigolds.
Calendula is what I rubbed on the legs of my mother as she moved into the land of Death – I massaged it in deep. I massaged and talked with her. Giving her all I had to help her in her passage.
She was afraid at first. I saw it in her eyes. But I kept pushing the stuff in, deeper and deeper. May this be a salve. We talked as she looked out at the lake and I sat at her feet staring into her face.
These precious moments of last summer. These golden flowers. The moments that made everything change, for all of us, all the women, all the women in my family. . .

That was last summer, and this is the road to a new season of spring.
This morning I will burn Marigolds.
To honor the releasing. To honor the purging. To honor the changing.
As we move from one era of life, into another.